"Maybe there is a beast...maybe it's just us." - Lord of the Flies
What if you discovered that the very demons that we fear were a creation of our own doing? Would you concede to it's will or would you fight back? Would you feel ashamed or would you protect it and show it devotion?
These were all questions I had to answer after I found that I had a demon of my own creation and this creature that I thought was my friend had turned on its creator. This collection personifies these feelings and gave my demon substance. With each piece that I painted, the choices I made with technique, color, and even canvas size explained my struggles to either release or protect me...from myself.
"Il Mio Diavolo" is not just depictions of ideas or random thoughts. So many times I allowed my inner demon to protect and guide me when all it wanted was to destroy everything including me. It was when I looked in the mirror and faced this creature that I realized how dark and powerful it was.
Classical expressionist techniques with a contemporary twist allowed me to handle trap my emotions on the canvas and display them in all their glory and tenebrosity. I forged each palette for every piece to deliver both vibrant and unique colors that best speak of the emotion being conveyed; to expel the monster within me for the world to see. The canvases vary in size but are no smaller than 30" on any given side. This granted me the gift of confronting my demon head on, to finally see it eye to eye.
It's not an easy process to discover that a friend I had created and protected had really been created to destroy myself and everything around me. Trying to let go of the power and indifference for anything was sad and at times, maddening. Something that had made me strong and invulnerable had also made me uncaring and non-human. I realized I had caged the person I wanted to be and instead unleashed indifference and rage.
Having confronted this creation, I have challenged it and now see that the only monster that has existed has always been me.I still struggle with this demon some days but I'm no longer caged.